3/5/2009

Jay Leno: "Nice to see you all here. ... You're so lucky you live in California," because there was a "huge snowstorm" in "Washington, DC." In fact, they are "calling it the city's biggest snow job since that stimulus package."

 

Jay Leno: "Actually, there were some optimistic words today from the Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke," who "told Congress the recession might end this year." Unfortunately, Bernanke "also said" pro football's "Detroit Lions could win the super Bowl and Paris Hilton could get an Oscar. So I don't know. He's a little out of there."

Jimmy Fallon: "Here's some good news. Barack Obama announced he's bringing home troops from Iraq. That's right. Unfortunately, he couldn't get them direct flights home. They have a two-year layover in Afghanistan."

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