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Tailgate Talk: 2013 Machinery Guide

December 15, 2012

The Message Between the Words

Farmers and mechanics often speak different languages. For example, picture a broken-down combine in a field during the heat of harvest, with a farmer and mechanic surveying the damage:

Farmer: "I was going along, there was a big bang and that sheave fell off the side of the combine." (Translation: "I thought it could handle that big wad of weeds and green stems.")

Mechanic: "I gotta tell you, that’s the first time I've ever seen that particular sheave fall off like that." (Translation: (a) "I thought that piece was unbreakable, but you proved me wrong," or (b) "I’ve fixed five of those in the past two days, but the manufacturer doesn’t want to admit there’s a design flaw.")

Farmer: "Is it something I did wrong?" ("Can I blame this on somebody else so I don’t have to pay for it?")

Mechanic: "By the looks of it, you stopped just in time before there was a fire." ("The bearings are so dry I’m gonna have to wear welding gloves to take it apart.")

Farmer: "That’s odd, ’cause I greased it every day." ("There’s a grease zerk on that sheave?")

After assessing the damage:

Mechanic: "Our store doesn’t have all the parts, but we have them at another dealership 50 miles north of here." ("How bad do you want to combine today?")

Farmer: "I want to get this field finished, so I guess I could go get the parts while you tear this

apart." ("Road trip! Let's see—100 miles. If I don’t run into any cops, I bet I can do it in an hour and 15 minutes.")

Mechanic: "I’ll be ready as soon as you get back." ("With you gone, I can beat, bang and pound to get things apart in ways that you really don’t want to know about.")

Later that afternoon:

Farmer: "That didn’t take as long as I thought it would. Nice job." ("I’ve never seen anybody use a sledgehammer, a hydraulic jack and a 6' pry bar to do what you just did.")

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FEATURED IN: Farm Journal - Machinery Guide 2013
RELATED TOPICS: Machinery Guide



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