Sep 10, 2009
David Letterman :
"There's rumors that Dick Cheney, Vice President Dick Cheney, may run for president in 2012. 2012. No, no. That's his cholesterol."
David Letterman: "I remember when the Obamas first moved in and the Bush girls were given the Obama girls a tour of the White House. And the little girls got scared because they heard the organ music coming from Dick Cheney's underground dungeon."
Conan O'Brien: "Earlier today, President Obama delivered a speech to America's schoolchildren. And he encouraged them to work hard and study hard. ... Yeah, then he said if that doesn't work, grab the seat next to the Asian kid."
Conan O' Brien: President Obama "told them, this is a quote, 'Be careful what you post on facebook.' That's what he said. Obama then told them about bad things that could happen, like the time he accidentally friended Joe Biden."
Craig Ferguson: "Some Republicans were so mad" about Obama's speech to schoolchildren, "they had Dick Cheney give a rebuttal. He showed kids the proper way to stuff a geek into a locker."
Jimmy Fallon: "The President also said that kids -- he told them if they study hard, the United States will continue to prosper. Then he added, 'But just to be safe, bone up on your Chinese.'"