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September 2009 Archive for Rubes Cartoons - Tales from a Twisted Mind

RSS By: Leigh Rubin, AgWeb.com

A cartoonish look at life...

Better on cereal...

Sep 29, 2009

So I’m leaving the breakfast area in my hotel today and I’m walking to the elevator when I just happen to look down and see some milk on the tile floor. I turn and look back behind me and follow a little trail of milk and see that it extends about 20 feet from where I am standing to all the way back under the double doors from where I had only moments before exited. I then look at what is in my hand, a little milk carton which is tilted sideways and out from the milk carton is flowing a steady trickle of milk. Let’s just say that this was not the best way to begin my morning. Knowing I’d feel guilty if I fled the scene of the crime, I dutifully turned myself in to the person at the hotel reception desk and asked for something to wipe up the little stream of milk. The receptionist was kind enough to say that she’d have someone take care of it but I still hung around for a minute or two to warn anyone who might slip on by. Sure, I was a little embarrassed but at least I didn’t cry over it.

...Speaking of milk...if by any chance you are attending the World Dairy Expo please come on by the Rubes Cartoons booth and say "Hi!" I’ll be in booth #C-1 in the exhibition hall right across from the fabulous ice-cream booth!...Oh, I’ll also be putting on my cartoony show on Oct.1st at 7:00PM at the Middleton Public Library, /files/Fall09.pdf, which is right next door to Madison. It’s free and open to the public. Please come on by and share an evening of laughs!)

 

 
Start you day off with a laugh at: www.rubescartoons.com

Say Cheese!

Sep 26, 2009

 

When I first attended the World Dairy Expo in 2006 I was amazed at all the technology used to produce the dairy products I enjoy. Although I knew that milking cows by hand was practically a thing of the past. (I tried it once and it gave me a huge amount of respect for folks that did, or still do, milk their cows that way!) The amount of innovation in the industry is no small accomplishment. I doubt many people give much thought at all to what it takes to keep the dairy section in their local market fully stocked. Speaking of dairy products, I am really looking forward to sampling some of the goodies that await at the Expo. MMMMM! ...So many cheeses, so little time!

 There’s something new, innovative and fun everyday at: www.rubescartoons.com!

 (If by any chance you are attending the World Dairy Expo please come on by the Rubes Cartoons booth and say "Hi!" I’ll be in booth #C-1 in the exhibition hall right across from the fabulous ice-cream booth!...Oh, I’ll also be putting on my cartoony show on Oct.1st at 7:00PM at the Middleton Public Library,   /files/Fall09.pdf , which is right next door to Madison. It’s free and open to the public. Please come on by and share an evening of laughs!)

 

 

 

World Dairy Expo here I come!

Sep 25, 2009

Next week is the 2009 World Dairy Expo, in Madison, Wisconsin and I am really looking forward to attending again. This marks my fourth year at the Expo and its one show I always really look forward to! I suppose you might wonder why I like the show so much. Well, cows just might have something to do with it. Why, without them I’d be stuck putting a white powdery substance in my coffee to “lighten” it. (YUCK!) What would I add to my oatmeal every morning? How could I have a turkey and Swiss without the Swiss? Or even worse, how about pie alamode without out the alamode? Of course I also appreciate cows for their natural beauty. I find them inspirational, which is way they appear so often in my cartoons. Now just because I have a fondness for cows doesn’t mean I’m overly infatuated with them. Please don’t go all Freudian on me. To paraphrase ol’ Sigmund, “Sometimes a cow is just a cow.” It doesn’t go any deeper than that and I resent the implication and hereby categorically deny and that I am in any way udderly obsessed!

 

 

 There’s a whole herd of fun at: www.rubescartoons.com

 (If by any chance you are attending the World Dairy Expo please come on by the Rubes Cartoons booth and say "Hi!" I’ll be in booth #C-1 in the exhibition hall right across from the fabulous ice-cream booth!...Oh, I’ll also be putting on my cartoony show on Oct.1st at 7:00PM at the Middleton Public Library,   /files/Fall09.pdf , which is right next door to Madison. It’s free and open to the public. Please come on by and share an evening of laughs!)

 

 

 

 

A Nervous Rex

Sep 21, 2009

One fine day several years ago I received an email from an unhappy reader from San Diego. He expressed his unhappiness with me because I had been insensitive and how (I am not kidding here) I was making fun of people of “short stature.” (See cartoon below). He explained how difficult it was for people of short stature to “cleanse themselves” after using the restroom and then went on to describe in painfully accurate detail just how people  of short stature go about “cleansing “ themselves. I will spare you the details but let’s just say it wasn’t the kind of subject you’d bring up at, let’s say for example, Thanksgiving dinner. So what’s my point here? Quite simple, really. I can draw the silliest, cartoon and by gosh somebody out there will be offended. Now I am not paranoid by nature but every now and again I wonder if I’m being watched  and if I so much as step out of line I’ll be busted by  the very long arm  of the Politically Correct Police.

 

 You can run but you can’t hide from: www.rubescartoons.com

Can I have a side of something edible with that?

Sep 16, 2009

Whenever I travel, and that seems to be much more than it used to be, I am put it the position of having to eat out a lot. Oh, a few times are OK but it wears pretty thin after several days. Usually I’ll order something standard that I figure a restaurant (any restaurant) couldn’t possibly screw up. Therefore, I’ll generally order up a club sandwich or a BLT. They are simple and practically impossible to not prepare correctly. This procedure has served me well over the last few years but one exception comes to mind. It was when I was in Wisconsin attending the World Dairy Expo (Which I will be attending again this year!) For dinner one evening I ordered a BLT at a family style restaurant. Let’s just say I was somewhat underwhelmed by was could arguably be called the world’s best example of how not to make a BLT. Aside from the tiny pieces of burnt bacon, meager slices (actually more like slivers) of tomato there was, what could probably be considered the minimum USDA requirement for lettuce. I am not kidding when I say that the little, limp, green excuse for a piece lettuce was no bigger than a postage stamp. Come to think of it, I’ve licked tastier postage stamps than that sandwich.

 

 

 Hungry for some humor? ...Fill up at: www.rubescartoons.com

Spare change?

Sep 14, 2009

About 40 miles north of Santa Barbara is a quaint, little, touristy Danish town called Solvang. Our family met there to celebrate my mom’s birthday we all had a fun time visiting and after lunch poked around the various gift shops. My brother, the musician, had brought his backpack guitar along with him and while we strolled along he and my fourteen year old son (who also plays the guitar and quite well I might add!)  wandered off down one of the other streets. About 15 minutes later my brother caught up with the rest of us and when I asked where my son was he said that Andrew was “busking.” For those of you unfamiliar with this term, (like I was until a couple of months ago) it means the practice of performing in public places for tips and gratuities.” (This wouldn't work for me as I have absolutely zero musical ability!) Naturally I was none too thrilled when I learned this and I asked my brother to go get my son and bring him back. He did and several minutes later they both came back and I asked Andrew how he did. “I made $10.00 in twenty minutes” he said grinning. Now, I am no math genius but I did a quick mental calculation and that’s thirty bucks an hour. Makes me wish I had bought my son a backpack guitar and brought it to New York when we went last June. He probably could have paid for the entire trip!

 No spare change but plenty of laughs at: www.rubescartoons.com

Good News!

Sep 10, 2009

It’s always a treat to open your newspaper and see some good news for a change. Whether it’s a story about a little old lady who lost her life savings in a brown paper bag only to have it returned to her by a Good Samaritan or a lost dog who managed to find its way home from half way across the country. Occasionally there’s even the story of how some guilt-ridden thief returns whatever it is he stole to the rightful owner with a sincere note of apology. It’s nice to know that not all news is always bad news. In fact sometimes what may be considered bad news for some might be good news for others. One of the odder example s of this was a story a friend of mine read about the “benefits” of global warming. Apparently there are some areas on the planet that are “defrosting” and because of that the real estate in those areas is becoming desirable. I’ll bet in the eyes (and bank accounts) of the real estate agents in those areas that is really good news!

 Extra! Extra! Read all about it at: www.rubescartoons.com

Hitting the nail on the head

Sep 09, 2009

One of the joys of being self employed is having the pleasure of paying your own health insurance.  If you’re self employed you know just how expensive that is. Now I’m not going to get into a debate here on the national health insurance bill that is being hotly discussed on every talk show in the country, but I will say that my monthly health insurance premiums are in third place every month after my mortgage and groceries are paid. I tell you; between those three expenses I am getting seriously hammered.


Laughter is the best medicine and there’s lots of it at: www.rubescartoons.com


 

JAWS!

Sep 03, 2009

 A couple of days ago a great white shark was spotted munching (actually biting in half) on a harbor seal not too terribly far from where I live. A fisherman and his son just happened to be scuba diving and rock fishing in the area and were able to snap a photo of the thirteen foot beast. All I can say is “Yikes!” That would be a little too close for comfort for me. I’m sure the harbor seal would concur. I guess the seal didn’t know the very first lesson on how to avoid becoming a mid-morning snack... As soon as you hear the first few ominous notes from the theme music from Jaws get out of the water as quickly as possible!



Go ahead, sink your teeth into: www.rubescartoons.com

The whole tooth and nothing but the tooth

Sep 01, 2009

 Okay, I admit it. I’m a little appre”hen”sive. (Pun intended). Tomorrow morning I will get to experience all the pleasure that comes along with a root canal. I have never really had a problem going to the dentist but this is a bit different. The procedure looks very straight forward and fairly simple but at the very end of the paperwork on the consent form there was a little disclaimer which said...”Although root canal therapy has a high degree of success, it can not be guaranteed...” This was followed by the last sentence...”Occasionally, a tooth, which has had root canal therapy, may require retreatment, surgery or even extraction.”

Anybody out there ever see Dustin Hoffman in Marathon Man? Now I ask you, can you blame me for being just a little chicken?


It’s fun and that’s the tooth! Visit: www.rubescartoons.com



 

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