Oct 1, 2014
Home| Tools| Events| Blogs| Discussions Sign UpLogin

Late-Night Laughs

RSS By: A Good Laugh

Enjoy some good one-liners and bits from your favorite late-night comedians.

A Good Laugh

Jun 26, 2008

David Letterman: Top Ten Things Overheard on Hillary Clinton’s First Day Back at Work.
“10. ‘Nice of you to show up.’
9. ‘Did you win?’
8. ‘We chipped in for a welcome back pantsuit.’
7. ‘Should I take the Madame President nameplate off your door?’
6. ‘Hillary’s choking another superdelegate.’
5. ‘On the bright side, you can once again partake in endless debates about agricultural subsidies.’
4. ‘Senator Clinton, please stop throwing wads of paper at Senator Obama’s head.’
3. ‘I can’t believe your shrill message of fear didn’t resonate.’
2. ‘Please stop taunting her, Senator Kerry.’
1. ‘We’ll begin as soon as Senator Craig returns from the restroom.’”

David Letterman: “How about this, ladies and gentlemen? Hillary Clinton is out campaigning with Barack Obama. … She says if it goes well, she’ll consider making him her running mate.”

Craig Ferguson: “Arnold Schwarzenegger met John McCain today.” And “it was a very awkward moment when they shook hands because McCain’s hand broke off.”

Craig Ferguson: “John McCain and Barack Obama have both laid out their energy plans. Obama wants enough ‘green’ energy to power the entire US economy, and McCain just wants enough energy to stay up past nine o’clock.”

Log In or Sign Up to comment

COMMENTS (1 Comments)

Alex Paterson Edinburgh Scotland
No 9 great,did you win.
12:20 PM Jun 26th
The Home Page of Agriculture
© 2014 Farm Journal, Inc. All Rights Reserved|Web site design and development by AmericanEagle.com|Site Map|Privacy Policy|Terms & Conditions