Apr 16, 2014
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Late-Night Laughs

RSS By: A Good Laugh

Enjoy some good one-liners and bits from your favorite late-night comedians.

Funnies With Ferguson

Oct 27, 2008
Craig Ferguson: "The Pentagon" is "buying a portrait of Donald Rumsfeld for paying $46,000." But it "will probably cost 10 times that, serve no real purpose, and never be finished. Remind you of anything?"

Craig Ferguson: "It wasn't such a great day for John McCain," who "got some support today" from an unwanted group. Al Qaeda "picked him as their choice" for president. Al Qaeda "made this announcement on their website, which begs the question, al Qaeda has a website? Can't we use it to find them?"

Craig Ferguson: "In this election, Obama is so far ahead now it seems the only way he can lose is if his supporters screw it up. But…Obama's supporters have a secret weakness. They're Democrats. They are perfectly capable of screwing this up. I'm not sure" if "Democrats remember how to win an election. They haven't won an election since 2000."

Craig Ferguson: "Anyway, the Democrats better watch out," because the "Republicans are going to pull out all the stops. Did you see they spent $150,000 on Sarah Palin's wardrobe?" Boy, nothing "says hockey mom like dropping six figures on bling."

Craig Ferguson: Sarah Palin's "defense was" that "$150,000 doesn't go far when you're a female political candidate, and that's true. Last year, Hillary Clinton spent twice that much on suits at Men's Warehouse."

Craig Ferguson: "The campaign says they needed to make Sarah Palin seem hip and cool," but "I'm thinking if you're going to spend money trying to make somebody look hip and cool, what about John? What about spending some money on John?"

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