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Late-Night Laughs

RSS By: A Good Laugh

Enjoy some good one-liners and bits from your favorite late-night comedians.

Late-nite comedy

Jun 24, 2009

Conan O’Brien: “Nice vote of confidence for President Obama this weekend. … John McCain, of all people, said that President Obama has ‘done well’ during his first few months in office. … In fact, McCain’s so proud of Obama, he sent him a card with a five dollar bill inside.”

Conan O’Brien: “According to a new report, Ford, General Motors and Chrysler have greatly reduced their number of customer complaints. … The automakers did this by greatly reducing their number of customers.”

Conan O’Brien: “Today, President Obama signed a bill that prevents tobacco companies from using misleading labels like ‘low tar’ and ‘light.’ … The tobacco companies…said from now on they’ll label their low tar cigarettes as ‘less cancerific.’”

David Letterman: “President Barack Obama’s approval rating” of “61%, which I thought was staggeringly high, has now dropped to 56%. … So don’t kid yourselves. Hillary could still win this thing.”

David Letterman: “You folks following the Iranian elections? … Well, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is the winner. And lots of protests. … And it got to be so crazy that Iran’s supreme leader actually spoke live on television last night. And it preempted Al Jazeera’s most popular show, their number one show over there, which is ‘How I Met Your Camel.’”

David Letterman: “But the supreme leader said that the Iranian elections were not rigged. … Well, that’s good enough for me.”

Jimmy Fallon: “Hillary Clinton is expected to make a full recovery after having surgery to repair her broken right elbow. … Yeah, doctors say she’ll be able to point and crazy smile at people in no time.”

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