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Late-Night Laughs

RSS By: A Good Laugh

Enjoy some good one-liners and bits from your favorite late-night comedians.

Late-nite comedy

Aug 20, 2009

David Letterman: "You think it's hot here in New York City, it's also hot down in Washington, D.C. It's so hot in Washington, D.C., that today, President Obama invited Professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. and Sergeant Crowley to the White House to run through the sprinkler."

David Letterman: "Seriously, is this an audience or a death panel? By God, let's get something going. Do you understand the problem? Health insurance, Congress not doing anything. They have town halls, people getting hot, everybody worked up about health insurance, I think, thank God I'm with CBS. CBS has a tremendous healthcare package. Here is the deal. If I get sick, I can only be treated by Dr. Phil... And then, under the CBS health plan, when I die, I get to be a corpse on a 'CSI' show."

David Letterman: "People are worried that, if the health care plan that the President wants goes through, that a death panel will decide what life-sustaining measures should be applied to...the elderly. ... Well, you know, it's the same thing ABC does with Regis."

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