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Late-Night Laughs

RSS By: A Good Laugh

Enjoy some good one-liners and bits from your favorite late-night comedians.

Late Night Laughs with Letterman & Conan

Jan 13, 2009

David Letterman: "Couple of days ago" in "New Jersey," there were "UFO sightings. ... Believe me, it's not an invasion." The aliens are "actually here" because they "want some of that Federal bailout money."

David Letterman: "Do you have your tickets for the inauguration down in Washington. I sent in early. I sent the money in. I got my tickets back, lousy seats." You "know where they put me? ... I'm right between Govs. Spitzer and Blagojevich."

David Letterman: "Vice President-elect Joe Biden...is already getting acquainted with his new responsibility as Vice President. And he's starting every afternoon at 3:00. He picks up Sasha and Malia from school."

Conan O'Brien: "On Inauguration Day, Barack Obama will be riding in a brand new presidential limousine" made by General Motors. ... Yeah, the parade route is five miles long, so GM says Obama should only have to stop for gas twice."

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