Jul 25, 2014
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Late-Night Laughs

RSS By: A Good Laugh

Enjoy some good one-liners and bits from your favorite late-night comedians.

Laughing It Up With Leno

Oct 17, 2008
Jay Leno: “Got your costume picked out” for Halloween,” because “I got mine. I’m going to wear my pants with the pockets out and just go as the bank.”

 

Jay Leno: “Actually, the financial news is starting to look pretty good this week. Yesterday, the market was up almost 1,000 points. … In fact, the financial news is looking so good bankers are starting to be rude to customers again.”

Jay Leno: According to a group of Nobel prize-winning scientists, because of the economic crisis, the planet might actually improve from the damage of global warming because we’re using less fossil fuel and we’re saving energy. See, this shows the brilliance of President Bush’s plan. He was killing the economy, yeah, but to save the planet! The man is a genius!”

Jay Leno: “Barack Obama…says that both men and women should have to register for the draft. … The first woman he wants signed up, Sarah Palin.”

Jay Leno: “And more charges of voter registration fraud with this group ACORN. … This is turning into a huge scandal. Apparently, this group has been charged with putting a lot of phony names on voter registration cards, including Mickey Mouse. Mickey Mouse was registered to vote in Florida. Is that so bad? I mean, Goofy’s been president for the last eight years.”


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