May 05, 2009
"I'm a little bummed out today" because "I made a bad investment. So stupid! I opened a Chrysler dealership in Mexico City."
Jay Leno: President Obama "told the American people they should cover their mouths when they cough to prevent the spread of swine flu. And today, he told Joe Biden to cover his mouth whenever he talks."
Jay Leno: "I don't think Joe Biden's going to catch swine flu, but it's pretty obvious he has a case of foot-in-mouth disease."
Jay Leno: "Arlen Specter has been a Republican" for a long time, so it has "got to be tough. ... For years you're lying out of the right side of your mouth, and now suddenly you've got to start lying out the left side of your mouth."