More Late-Night Election Jokes
Nov 10, 2008
“Well, right after Barack Obama clinched” his victory, “TV cameras caught Jesse Jackson standing at the celebration with tears” in his eyes. Not “because Barack won, because he makes more than $250,000 a year.”
Jay Leno: “I got to admit, as a comedian, I’m going to miss President Bush, because Barack Obama is not easy to do jokes about. He doesn’t give you a lot to go on. See, this is why God gave us Joe Biden.”
Jimmy Kimmel: “President Bush called Sen. Obama last night” to “congratulate him and this is an actual quote. He said, ‘What an awesome night for you and your family.’ I think his eloquence is what we will remember most about” Bush.
Jimmy Kimmel: “Obama thanked the President for his call and for all he did to help him get elected.”
"In the news this week, CBS News' Katie Couric asked both presidential candidates" when was "the last time they cried. ... Obama said the last time he cried was at his daughter's birthday. McCain said the last time he cried was when he saw the poll numbers."
Craig Ferguson: "This week in 'People' magazine," Sarah Palin "talks about the plans for her daughter's wedding. You know, Bristol's getting married. And Sarah says it's very difficult to find a dress that doesn't clash with the shotgun."
Craig Ferguson: "But" Sarah Palin "is not letting all this criticism of her get her down. She said she's putting the election 'in God's hands,' which is good news for the Democrats because they think Barack Obama is God."
Jimmy Kimmel: "The economy has become the central issue in" the "presidential campaign. I personally...haven't heard one word about fencing in the Mexicans in months, right?"