Sep 20, 2014
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Late-Night Laughs

RSS By: A Good Laugh

Enjoy some good one-liners and bits from your favorite late-night comedians.

Turkey Day & the Economy

Dec 02, 2008
David Letterman: "Hey, you know today is the busiest shopping day of the year. How about that, huh? And good news for the economy: So far, four shoppers have shown up."

 

David Letterman: "Let me give you an idea how desperate the economy is here in New York City." It is "so desperate, the crack dealers...are now offering free nachos."

David Letterman: "Hey, how about that Thanksgiving Day Parade. ... And of course, the culmination is the arrival of Santa and his elves." And "tomorrow, as a matter of fact, they're going down to Washington to try to get some of that bailout money."

Craig Ferguson: "Do you know who doesn't do well the day after Thanksgiving? Restaurants, because everyone's got food at home, everyone's got leftovers. ... The word leftovers comes from the Russian word leftov, which means warmed-over food. It doesn't really. I made that up. But I do that all the time. I'm like Wikipedia" or "Fox News."


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