A Good Laugh
Enjoy some good one-liners and bits from your favorite late-night comedians.
Joe the Plumber Jokes
Oct 23, 2008
"John McCain got some good news today. 'The Charleston Daily Mail' endorsed McCain, saying since he'll only be a one-term president, he can do the right thing to make tough decisions. When they told McCain they were only giving him four years, he said, 'That's great. My doctor only gave me two.' So, he's thrilled."
Jay Leno: "Hey, are you…buying this whole Joe the plumber thing? McCain said he's worried about Joe the plumber's income. His income? Anybody here ever gotten a bill from a plumber and gone, 'Well, this is way too low.'"
Jay Leno: "Well, actually, Joe the plumber, not his real name. Actually, his full name, Joe Hussein the plumber, yeah."
Jay Leno: "And this week, President Bush announced a $250 billion…plan for the government to directly buy shares of the nation's leading banks to make sure they're run properly. They're going to make sure they're run properly, yeah. Because one thing we know is that the people who gave us a $9 trillion debt, they know how to handle money."
Jay Leno: "And you can tell most of these banks have gotten their bailout money already. I went by my bank today. It had a big sign: 'Now making toxic loans again. Come on down.'"
Jay Leno: "Hey, did you see this on the news? A bear jumped a 45-year-old hiker, who managed to grab a stick and beat the bear to death." The hiker "then walked miles to the hospital. Boy, that Sarah Palin is unbelievable!"