We just returned from a vacation across northeast Iowa, Wisconsin and a bit of southeast Minnesota. My mind wanders, sometimes to strange places, while I'm driving:
-If you doubt the existence of zombies, aka "the living dead," visit an interstate truck stop after midnight.
-Muscle shirts, as worn by 99.6 percent of the middle-aged men shuffling around tourist traps with their families, are grossly misnamed.
-In motels, children whose parents have farmer's tans are better behaved than children of parents who glow with tanning bed tans.
-"Continental breakfast" means "breakfast of stale rolls."
-It's best to never see the people who stayed in your motel room the night before you.
-Old farmers drive slow and rarely signal when making left turns.
-Most tourists who wear clothing designed to show off their tattoos shouldn't wear clothing that shows off their tattoos.
-The only thing more sad than a run-down, abandoned barn is a run-down, abandoned rural church.
Never make eye contact with street performers, panhandlers, or people sitting alone in motel lobbies.
-If you need to kill time in a small farming town, tell a local retired farmer that the crops "look good around here."