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April 2011 Archive for Rubes Cartoons - Tales from a Twisted Mind

RSS By: Leigh Rubin, AgWeb.com

A cartoonish look at life...

You're not the boss of me!

Apr 26, 2011

I work for a guy who is on my case 24/7. He never leaves me alone and just because I’ve known him all my life he thinks he can take advantage of me. Even when I’m on vacation I am still “on call.” Why, that’s unfair you say! But it’s true. My boss is a real slave driver. “Why don’t you quit?” you ask, no boss should have such power over an employee. Believe me, there are some days when I want to give him a piece of my mind!  “Just who do you think you are?” I’d say. “You’re not the boss of me!” But then he’d calmly remind me in no uncertain terms that he was indeed the boss of me and that I can quit any time I’d like and good luck finding another job in this economy. He does have a point. The hours may be long but I can take as many coffee and bathroom breaks (and naps!) as I want, I can play with the dogs any time I feel like it, I can even watch TV or listen to music as loudly as I want. Maybe my boss isn’t such a bad guy after all. Maybe I should try to be more understanding of his position. I know he’s just trying to make a living like the rest of us. Gosh, now I feel kind of bad for complaining.  I should really tell him what a good guy he is. After all, he does have to constantly put up with me, and how easy could that be? I guess before I criticize my boss I should take a good look in the mirror. That would probably be a pretty good reflection on me.

Slave Diver

 

Come meet Leigh at the L.A. Times Festival of Books on April 30th and May 1st and in Torrance, California on May 25th! For all the details see:

 http://www.rubescartoons.com/events.html

 

(And see the latest Rubes cartoon at:

http://www.rubescartoons.com/)

What's Aunt Gertrude cooking up now? See the latest

 silly Rubes video and find out!

...And speaking of cows, have some cow-tipping fun with the latest Rubes book:Rubes Cow Tipping: You Can't Keep a Good Cow Down!

 http://www.amazon.com/Rubes-Cow-Tipping-Cant-Keep/dp/0762440082/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_11

Cow Tipping Image

 

Blame it on the Easter Bunny

Apr 17, 2011

I kind of miss hiding Easter eggs for the kids.  It was always fun to see them get so excited when they’d find and open all those colorful little plastic (we didn’t use real eggs) shells to see what sweet treat waited inside. (We never had enough eggs to hold all the candy so I got all the extras!) Of course as they got older I had to be trickier about where I’d hide them. They knew all the usual spots so the game had to move outdoors. Like a pack of hound dogs on the trail of an escaped prisoner the kids would eventfully locate them all. One year I decided (without the approval of my wife) that instead of filling the eggs with candy I would write little words of wisdom on slips of paper (sort of like fortune cookies) and place them inside.  I thought the kids would get a big kick out of it but as soon as the first egg was discovered and cracked open I know I blew it. There was no smile as one of the kids read aloud his “lucky” Easter fortune: “Why are you looking in here when the real joy in life is spending time with your family?”, or “Brush after every meal”, or “Too much candy is bad for your teeth.”To say the kids were disappointed would have been an understatement. I think the only thing worse would have been to tell them there was no Easter Bunny at all and that certainly wasn’t going to happen. I mean, come on...without the Easter Bunny who else would I have had to blame?

Easter Snakes

Come meet Leigh at the L.A. Times Festival of Books on April 30th and May 1st and in Torrance, California on May 25th! For all the details see:

 http://www.rubescartoons.com/events.html

 

(And see the latest Rubes cartoon at:

http://www.rubescartoons.com/)

What's Aunt Gertrude cooking up now? See the latest

 silly Rubes video and find out!

...And speaking of cows, have some cow-tipping fun with the latest Rubes book:Rubes Cow Tipping: You Can't Keep a Good Cow Down!

 http://www.amazon.com/Rubes-Cow-Tipping-Cant-Keep/dp/0762440082/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_11

Cow Tipping Image

Time is relative

Apr 10, 2011

Just returned from a very fun couple of days at Texas A&M (Go Aggies!) where I had the pleasure of being the opening speaker in the Centennial Speakers Series. I was also asked to speak to an agricultural publications class which was fun as well as educational. Those are some sharp students!  After speaking with them I know I have a lot to learn about the most effective ways to use social media. (I wonder if I can get college credit for the class...)The entire trip went as smooth as could be...except when it came time to leave. I am paranoid about missing flights so I always make sure to be at the airport an hour and a half prior to departure time. Both checking in and going through security were a breeze. The first announcement (AKA “red flag’’) came about 25 minutes before the flight was to depart. (There were many more red flags after that). Apparently there were some “mechanical issues” ( which in this case was a euphemism for “a maintenance worker has bumped into one of the plane’s doors with a piece of equipment and damaged it so that it could not be shut properly and it is going to take a really long time to fix...’’) that would be resolved “shortly.” I am not sure what definition the airlines use for “shortly” but I suppose time is relative, right? In this case “shortly” was about seven hours later. Not being one used to having time to kill I decided to be as productive as possible during my unanticipated wait. I had lots of things that I needed to catch up on...the most important one being sleep. Now for those of you who think that sleeping isn’t particularly productive just remember, productivity, like time is relative, right?

Oxygen Masks

 

Come meet Leigh on April 13th in Santa Maria, California, April 30 and May 1st in Los Angeles, and May 25th in Torrance, California! For all the details see:

 

 

 

http://www.rubescartoons.com/events.html

 

(And see the latest Rubes cartoon at:

http://www.rubescartoons.com/)

What's Aunt Gertrude cooking up now? See the latest

 silly Rubes video and find out!

...And speaking of cows, have some cow-tipping fun with the latest Rubes book:Rubes Cow Tipping: You Can't Keep a Good Cow Down!

 http://www.amazon.com/Rubes-Cow-Tipping-Cant-Keep/dp/0762440082/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_11

Cow Tipping Image

The Zombies are Coming! The Zombies are Coming!

Apr 03, 2011

Let’s see, we have earthquakes and tsunamis in Japan, wars as well as  assorted revolutions in the Middle East, a lousy economy, skyrocketing  gas prices, high unemployment, roving hoards of flesh eating zombies (okay, I just threw that one in for effect), a huge Earthbound asteroid which will literally wipe all life forms off the face of this planet (hey, it could happen...just ask any dinosaur), an alien invasion (the kind from outer space, not the undocumented worker kind), killer viruses, oh, the list of disastrous possibilities just goes on and on. So you’re probably saying to yourself, “Man, Rubin’s in a gloomy mood.” And to that I would maturely respond, “Nuh-uh.” You see, I was a Boy Scout, and what is the motto of the Boy Scouts? Be Prepared. It is a motto which has served me well over the years and especially now as I travel around the country knowing what to pack and what to ship ahead and where to go ahead of time just in case there’s an unplanned event (aka”disaster”) along the way. But as much as I like to think of myself as being prepared I must give my wife a big Boy Scout salute for making sure our household will be prepared in case of an unplanned  ________ (fill in the blank from any of the natural disasters mentioned above...feel free to leave out the zombies and asteroids). You see, a few months ago my wife attended a disaster preparedness workshop and has since assembled enough survival supplies to keep us reasonably comfortable until we are all devoured by the zombies. No, seriously, she has done a magnificent job of preparing us for disaster. I must say it’s the cheapest insurance we have ever had to buy and unlike most insurance premiums which are generally inedible or at least tasteless at best, you can open up a can of chicken noodle soup when you are starving. Now that I feel safe and secure in the event of an unplanned event, I would just be thrilled if my wife would take care of a really horrific disaster...my garage.

Planet

Come meet Leigh on April 7th at Texas A&M University and April 13th in Santa Maria, California  For all the details see:

 

http://www.rubescartoons.com/events.html

 

(And see the latest Rubes cartoon at:

http://www.rubescartoons.com/)

What's Aunt Gertrude cooking up now? See the latest

 silly Rubes video and find out!

...And speaking of cows, have some cow-tipping fun with the latest Rubes book:Rubes Cow Tipping: You Can't Keep a Good Cow Down!

 http://www.amazon.com/Rubes-Cow-Tipping-Cant-Keep/dp/0762440082/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_11

Cow Tipping Image

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