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February 2011 Archive for Rubes Cartoons - Tales from a Twisted Mind

RSS By: Leigh Rubin, AgWeb.com

A cartoonish look at life...

What Goes Up Must Come Down...Most of the Time.

Feb 27, 2011

When you hold a tennis ball at arms length and release it you could assume with some certainty (assuming this took place on planet Earth) that the ball would drop, or fall to the ground. (The exception being that if my border collie/Aussie Sheppard mix was anywhere within 10 feet in which case the ball would end up in her mouth and then you would be obliged to play “fetch the ball” with her for the next several hours until either your arm or the dog would tire out...Trust me; your arm is no match). Anyway, the point is that gravity tends to pull things down, hence the expression, “What goes up must come down.” Well, I know it goes against all accepted laws of physics but I believe I have discovered a loophole in the law. (And I’m not even physicist...or a lawyer!) You see, every year about this time I receive a friendly letter from my insurance company informing me that they are going to increase my monthly premium. This annual tradition has been going on as long as I have had private insurance and if past performance is an indication of future results then I can reasonably assume that the rate will keep increasing every year until I am either broke or dead. While both of those choices are somewhat unappealing I’d prefer the former to the latter. I think my dog would too. She doesn’t really seem too concerned about money...or the laws of physics.

 

Newtons Revised Law

 

See the latest Rubes at: http://www.rubescartoons.com/

 

 

What's Aunt Gertrude cooking up now? See the latest

silly Rubes video and find out!

 

 

 

 

 

Attending the Western United Dairymen Convention

in March? Be sure to say hi to Leigh! See: Rubes cartoonist to entertain WUD convention crowd

...And speaking of cows, have some cow-tipping fun with the latest Rubes book:Rubes Cow Tipping: You Can't Keep a Good Cow Down!

Cow Tipping Image

http://www.amazon.com/Rubes-Cow-Tipping-Cant-Keep/dp/0762440082/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_11

 

 

Saving marriages

Feb 20, 2011

I just read the following in my local paper,” Having an affair may offer short-term pleasures, but it takes a toll in emotional turmoil, suspicion and jealousy.” Gee whiz, who’d have thunk it?  And I always thought that cheating was so good for a relationship built on trust. The article goes on to talk about a website that matches cheaters up with other cheaters so they can cheat to their little heart’s content. I don’t know about you but I always thought that a marriage should be based on honesty. Oh I know, it’s an old-fashioned idea and all. But I mean if you are going to be unfaithful, why even get married in the first place? Maybe I’m just being naïve but I don’t really see an upside here. Maybe it’s the little things that, when added up over a period of time which eventually cause people to stray. Maybe we should examine our relationships and see if there are small ways that can make a marriage work more smoothly. In fact, I would like to propose one very simple idea which I believe is a guaranteed way to reduce the friction in any relationship. It’s such a simple idea that I am surprised nobody ever thought of it before. Take a peek below and I think you’ll agree. It might just prevent some relationships from going down the toilet.

Simple Solution

See the latest Rubes at: http://www.rubescartoons.com/

 

Attending the Western United Dairymen Convention in March? Be sure to say hi to Leigh! See: Rubes cartoonist to entertain WUD convention crowd

...And speaking of cows, have some cow-tipping fun with the latest Rubes book:Rubes Cow Tipping: You Can't Keep a Good Cow Down!

Cow Tipping Image

http://www.amazon.com/Rubes-Cow-Tipping-Cant-Keep/dp/0762440082/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_11

Pleasant Dreams

Feb 14, 2011

I am not advocating violence but if there was ever a reason for justifiable homicide it would be for waking me up in the middle of the night. Now again, please understand I would never condone such behavior, but a guy can dream, can’t he? Well, he can’t dream if some idiotic, inconsiderate partiers in the room next to him wake him up at two freakin’ thirty in the morning! (Please excuse my inappropriate language  but it was either say “freakin” or use the more traditional cartoony “%$#&#$!” Either way, you get the point...I was plenty upset.) When I stay in a hotel I expect a certain amount of courtesy on the part of other hotel guests. I have switched rooms several times in the same day to escape barking dogs and crying babies, both are for the most part uncontrollable to some degree. But when some inebriated, loudmouthed bozos, (no disrespect is intended to the real Bozo of course), start yelling and carrying on and disturbing my beauty sleep, (which trust me, I really need), well, it just pushes me over the edge. Now I am not one to take the law into my own hands, especially when I am paying good money to stay in a nice hotel, (and I’m also outnumbered at least three to one), that’s why I will instead, call the front desk and have hotel security take appropriate steps necessary to handle the situation, which is exactly what happened last week while I was in Denver. Oh sure, it took three or four calls to the manager, (you know, the “squeaky wheel” and all that), but eventually his “courtesy visit” to their room with the threat of tossing them out onto the street at three in the morning in sub-zero temperature if he received just one more complaint seemed to have the desired effect and the loudmouthed louts were at silent at last.  Despite the vengeful urge to make that one last complaint call and have the noisy neighbors tossed out into the cold, I didn’t....But a guy can dream, can’t he?

Hammer

 

See the latest Rubes at: http://www.rubescartoons.com/

And have some cow-tipping fun with the latest Rubes book:Rubes Cow Tipping: You Can't Keep a Good Cow Down!

Cow Tipping Image

http://www.amazon.com/Rubes-Cow-Tipping-Cant-Keep/dp/0762440082/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_11

 

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