Jay Leno: "President Obama joined other world leaders in trying to convince Greece to cut back on spending and reduce their debt. This is part of their 'Do as We Say, Not as We Do' summit, apparently."
Conan O'Brien: "The New York Mets are planning to move the walls of Citi Field in order to increase the number of home runs they hit. Call me old-fashioned, but isn't that what steroids are for?"
"President Obama had his physical today. His cholesterol is down, blood pressure down, approval rating down. He's fit and eats healthy food, and Fox News says that proves he's not an American."
Jay Leno: "President Obama had his annual physical. Doctors say he is in excellent health, except his blood pressure. It's 70 over 14 trillion."