Craig Ferguson: "Forty percent of Americans say they would rather cut their own hair than do their taxes. And then there are people that would rather do neither. I'm talking to you, Willie Nelson."
Jimmy Kimmel: "Tax day is the day that ordinary Americans send their money to Washington, D.C., and wealthy Americans send their money to the Cayman Islands."
Conan O'Brien: "NBC executives say that if Donald Trump does run for president, they will not renew 'The Apprentice.' So some good may come out of this."
Bill Maher: "Trump is a little tone-deaf to the average American. He unveiled his slogan this week: 'Are you better off now than you were four wives ago?''"
Jay Leno: "Another air traffic controller fell asleep on the job, but he had a good excuse. He was watching President Obama's deficit speech."