Jay Leno: "S&P downgraded the United States from AAA to AA+, and it gets worse. Today, Italy, England and Greece un-friended us on Facebook."
Jon Stewart: "By the way, the ratings agency is Standard & Poor's. Who's going to listen to a company whose name translates to Average & Below Average?"
Jimmy Kimmel: "President Obama said that even though we've been downgraded, we're still a AAA nation. Unfortunately, he meant in the minor league baseball sense."
Conan O'Brien: "China has told us our days of squandering borrowed money are over. So maybe we shouldn’t tell them we just spent $76 million going to the Smurf movie."