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September 2011 Archive for Late-Night Laughs

RSS By: A Good Laugh

Enjoy some good one-liners and bits from your favorite late-night comedians.

Bailouts and Bank Robbers

Sep 19, 2011

Conan O' Brien: "In Michigan, a man wearing an Obama mask robbed a bank. Either that or Obama has an exciting new plan to reduce the deficit."

Jimmy Kimmel: "Obama says the jobs bill will be paid for. I don't like this focus on paying for things. That's what future generations are for."

Jay Leno: "Italy is asking China to help bail them out of their debt crisis. Doesn't that make you mad? Hey, Italy, China is our sugar daddy."

Conan O'Brien: "The U.S. Census Bureau reports that American homes are 650 square feet larger today than they were in 1980. Unfortunately, so are most Americans."


 

Jay and Jimmy on Obama's Jobs Plan

Sep 14, 2011

Jay Leno: "President Obama introduced his $447 billion jobs plan. A lot of economists say it could work — if we had $447 billion."

Jimmy Fallon: "Republicans actually decided not to give a rebuttal to President Obama's jobs speech. I guess they figured there's already a rebuttal to his jobs speech: No jobs."

Jimmy Kimmel: "The World Economic Forum, which ranks economies, moved the United States down to 5th place. But we're still the fattest, so that's good."

David Letterman: "Tomorrow is Bring Your Son or Daughter to the Unemployment Office Day."



Comics Sing the Labor Day Blues

Sep 07, 2011

Jay Leno: "For most Americans, Labor Day means a three-day weekend, but for 9.1 percent of Americans, it's been a 12-month weekend."

Jay Leno: "New statistics show the U.S. economy added 0 jobs in August. The White House cautioned Americans not to read too much into those numbers. What numbers?"

Jimmy Fallon: "I read that a man from Illinois discovered $150,000 in his garden. Did you hear that, President Obama? A man from Illinois actually grew the economy."

David Letterman: "Mitt Romney announced he’s building a $12 million beach house in California. There’s a man who can read the mood of the country."


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