Dave, Jay and Jimmy Slam BP
May 26, 2010
"British Petroleum is now saying the oil spill was caused by a bad underwater cement job. You don't have that problem with the mob."
"John McCain is angry with British Petroleum. But in all fairness, he's had a grudge against the British since the Revolutionary War."
"Because of the ocean currents, experts say oil from the Gulf could easily spread up the East Coast all the way to the Carolinas. In fact, today, people in North Carolina said they hadn't seen anything this slick and slimy since the John Edwards campaign."
"Scientists in Maryland say they have created the first-ever synthetic cell. They say their goal is to create a life form that can withstand lead products from China, volcanic ash from Iceland and contaminated water from the Gulf of Mexico."
"It's pretty hard for fans of 'Lost' now that it's finally over. If people want to get their fix, they'll have to follow that other group that's lost and confused in the middle of the ocean. You know, BP."