Sep 15, 2014
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Late-Night Laughs

RSS By: A Good Laugh

Enjoy some good one-liners and bits from your favorite late-night comedians.

Jay Isn't Finished with BP; Dave Looks Ahead to the Holiday

May 28, 2010
Jay Leno: "Earlier today, British Petroleum began this operation known as 'top kill,' which comes on the heels of their previous operations, 'fish kill' and 'bird kill.'"

Jay Leno: "According to a White House report, President Obama is becoming more and more frustrated by this whole oil leak thing. He lost his temper today. He reportedly yelled at people, 'Plug the damn hole!' That's the same thing he says whenever Joe Biden starts talking."

Jay Leno: "President Obama announced yesterday he plans to send 1,200 troops to the U.S.-Mexican border. You know who we should hire to protect our border? It's so simple. Mexicans. They want jobs, they're there already."

David Letterman: "Well, Memorial Day weekend is ahead. I know it's only Thursday, but you want to get a jump on being stuck at the airport for 24 hours."

David Letterman: "Memorial Day is the day we honor military heroes with a mattress blowout sale at Sleepy's."
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