Aug 22, 2014
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Late-Night Laughs

RSS By: A Good Laugh

Enjoy some good one-liners and bits from your favorite late-night comedians.

Laughs From Letterman and Leno

Jul 23, 2008
Jay Leno: “President Bush spoke about the economy today. Did you hear what President Bush said today? He said, ‘I am not an economist.’ Not an economist? He's barely even a president.”

 

Jay Leno: “Yesterday, President Bush lifted the executive ban on drilling for oil in certain parts of the country. … Now, don't confuse that with President Clinton. He was the first to lift the executive ban on drilling in the Oval Office. That was totally different.”

Jay Leno: “In an interview, Barack Obama revealed that he and Michelle had their first kiss while sitting on a curb after he bought her a Baskin and Robbins. … I think that's nice. Usually, when you see a guy buying a date an ice cream cone and asking for a kiss, it's on ‘Dateline Predator.’”

Jay Leno: “In San Francisco, a 75-year-old woman came out of retirement to start a new career as a stripper. 75 years old. See, that's when you know we got to do something about Social Security, okay?”

Jay Leno: “Things are not going well between Madonna and her brother after he released his controversial new book, ‘Life With My Sister, Madonna.’ Yeah, yeah. I don't want to say Madonna's mad at him, but I understand today, she called Jesse Jackson looking for a favor.”

David Letterman: “Well, you know, we're in the middle of a banking crisis. Today on television, President Bush assured Americans that he is taking steps to resolve the financial crisis. Well, that's good enough for me. Come on, let's go to the park.”

David Letterman: “Brett Favre says he has reconsidered his decision to retire and he wants to get back in the game. Today Hillary Clinton said, ‘You can do that?’”


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