Apr 24, 2014
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Late-Night Laughs

RSS By: A Good Laugh

Enjoy some good one-liners and bits from your favorite late-night comedians.

Leno Laughs

Jul 15, 2008
Jay Leno: “Hey, big scare today for Barack Obama. His airplane had to make an unscheduled landing because of mechanical problems. While the pilot was steering to the left, the plane was apparently drifting to the right.”

 

Jay Leno: “Obama’s wife, Michelle, pretty distraught when she first heard the news that his plane had problems. Although, not nearly as distraught as Hillary Clinton when she heard everything was okay.”

Jay Leno: “And as you know, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton met last week in Unity, New Hampshire, to campaign together and to show their unity. … That shows you what a great country this is. Only in America can a woman who married a man from Hope go to a town called Unity and fake something called sincerity.”

Jay Leno: “And Barack Obama is now denying that he is e-mail pals with the beautiful actress, Scarlett Johansson. … In fact, his exact words were, ‘I did not have textual relations with that woman.’”

Jay Leno: “And here’s a comment many people are calling racist. This is a stupid thing to say. It seems the Republican Party operative, a man named Grover Norquist, told the ‘LA Times’ that Barack Obama was just ‘John Kerry with a tan.’ … Well, using that logic, if Barack Obama is John Kerry with a tan, then John McCain is George Bush with an enlarged prostate.”

Jay Leno: “Actually, speaking of John McCain, I thought this was nice.” He “went to North Carolina last week to visit 89-year-old Evangelical legend, the Reverend Billy Graham. And he was frail and confused and couldn’t visit for long. But Billy Graham looked great.”

Jay Leno: “And President Bush, trying to get up to speed on this energy crisis, and not a moment too soon. This guy is on top of everything. But Bush said, now, he’s not just for offshore drilling,” he also “says he’s looking for other alternatives. Like, today, he supports drilling for solar energy. See, I don’t think he quite understands.”


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