Jul 24, 2014
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Late-Night Laughs

RSS By: A Good Laugh

Enjoy some good one-liners and bits from your favorite late-night comedians.

Wildfires and Obama

Nov 20, 2008
Jay Leno: "These wildfires continuing to burn here in L.A. I haven't seen anything go up in smoke like this since my 401(k)."

 

Jay Leno: Once Barack Obama "becomes president, he'll have to give up all personal communication devices because of security concerns. So, it looks like America's ready for a black president. We're just not ready for a BlackBerry president."

Jay Leno: "Barack Obama says one of his top priorities once he becomes president is closing down Guantanamo Bay. To make sure it closes, he's going to turn it into a bank."

David Letterman: Thanksgiving is "a time when people can do nice things for others who are less fortunate. ... For example, if you get the opportunity, if you have your Thanksgiving dinner, invite a Lehman brother."

Craig Ferguson: "Everyone is waiting to see what" Barack Obama has "got planned. We already know his economic plan. It's designed to help small businesses that make under $250,000 a year. You know, like General Motors and Chrysler."

Conan O'Brien: Barack Obama "met with former political rival John McCain." Both "men said it was a relief to put their differences aside, sit down, and really make fun of Sarah Palin."

Jimmy Kimmel: Hillary Clinton might become Barack Obama's "secretary of State." She "went from almost being the President to a secretary. It sounds like somebody needs to watch 'Working Girl' again, because that's not how it's supposed to work."


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