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January 2010 Archive for Rubes Cartoons - Tales from a Twisted Mind

RSS By: Leigh Rubin, AgWeb.com

A cartoonish look at life...

Snails in love

Jan 28, 2010

I wonder if snails ever feel romantic, don’t you? Oh come on, like the thought never crossed your mind! It’s not like I dwell on it or anything, but snails need love too, right?  Snails have been around for a very long time so it figures that they must be attracted to each other, otherwise where would baby snails come from? I seriously doubt that the proverbial “stork” brings them. In fact, I’m too sluggish (pardon the pun) to Google what a stork’s diet consists of* but if you were an expectant snail would you trust a mollusk eating bird to deliver your little bundle of joy? I think not! Of course amongst the snail population there are probably some late bloomers that are a bit on the shy side. They lack confidence, but I’m certain that with the right words of encouragement eventually they’ll come of their shells.

 

 

*I did look it up and yes, storks do eat snails.

 

 

 

 

Don’t you be sluggish...come on over to: www.rubescartoons.com !

Technically challenged

Jan 25, 2010

Technology is a wonderful thing until you need tech support. My relatively new laptop started experiencing a few glitches a couple of weeks ago so I did a bit of research online to see if I could fix it myself. There seems to be no shortage of helpful ideas in cyberspace on how to solve almost any conceivable technical issue. Some are (relatively) easy to understand while others are obviously written by people with multiple PhDs in computer science for other people with multiple PhDs in computer science.  I have had my share of actually calling tech support. One memorable time I was on the phone for what seemed like six  or seven hours, probably because I was on the phone for six or seven hours. Needless to say it was a frustrating experience. By the end of the call I felt like banging my head on a wall or at the very least, putting my fist through a Windows...

 

 

Browse your way on over to some laughs at:www.rubescartoons.com

Don’t miss the Rubes cartoony show in San Antonio on January 26th! For details see today’s fun feature from the San Antonio Express-News at:

http://www.mysanantonio.com/entertainment/comics_games/82584962.html?ua=m&c=y


The Plane Truth

Jan 22, 2010

When I was a little kid I loved building model airplanes. The planes of World War One were my absolute favorites. I read everything I could about the planes and my heroes, the aces.  Two of my favorite aces were Manfred "The Red Baron" von Richthofen, who was named after the popular frozen pizza and the fearless American flyer, Eddie Rickenbacker. I had built models of the two planes closely associated with both men; the Fokker triplane (with that wicked engine cowling!) and the handsome Spad 13. I also built dozens of other model planes and had them proudly displayed at the local airfield otherwise known as the top of my dresser. One day I heard a loud crashing noise, like the sound of a squadron of plastic model airplanes being smashed to bits coming from the bedroom which I shared with my older brother. I went to investigate and to my horror I found my beautiful squadron of model airplanes completely destroyed. For some reason, of which I am still unsure, my brother had taken the guardrail from  the  bunk bed (that’s the piece of wood which fits into the slots on the top of  the bunk bed ladder to ensure the kid on top doesn’t accidentally roll out of bed) and with one devastating “THWACK!” my squadron was no more. My brother claimed it was all an accident and the Supreme Law of the Land (my mom) believed him. Of course there were no eyewitnesses so no one will ever really know what happened that fateful day...except of course my brother, for only he alone knows the truth, the whole truth and nothing but plane truth.

Want a good laugh? Then fly on over to: www.rubescartoons.com

Don’t miss the Rubes cartoony show in San Antonio on January 26th! For details see: http://www.rubescartoons.com/events.html

Giving credit where credit is due

Jan 20, 2010

I received a call the other day from my credit card company. It seems for the second time in approximately one year my number had been “compromised.” That’s fancy speak for swiped. “Swiped”...now I always thought that was an ironic term used for when you slide your credit card through the machine in order to complete a transaction. As long as I’m on the subject of credit cards...I received a statement a couple of days ago and while reviewing the charges I noticed a late fee for 39 bucks. I called the number on the card and got a hold of a polite, by-the book customer service rep, who was being monitored for quality assurance, to query the late charge. I admitted to the nice by-the book-customer service rep, who was being monitored for quality assurance, that I did mail the payment in a little close to the deadline and with the holidays it probably took an extra couple of days and arrived late. The nice, by-the book- customer service rep who was being monitored for quality assurance, informed me that late fee was in accordance the credit card agreement. That’s when I said to the nice by-the book-customer service rep, who was being monitored for quality assurance,” Kinda steep, doncha think?” There was a distinct few moments of awkward silence most probably because the nice by-the book-customer service rep, was being monitored for quality assurance. She then repeated the bit about how the late fee “was in accordance with the credit card agreement” and then asked if there was anything else she could do, to which I replied, “Yes, you could remove the late fee.”...and believe it or not, she did. Who says customer service in this country is dead...especially when it is being monitored for quality assurance.

 

Plenty of cartoon quality assurance at: www.rubescartoons.com !

Don’t miss the Rubes cartoony show in San Antonio on January 26th! For details see: http://www.rubescartoons.com/events.html

 

It's a mystery to me

Jan 18, 2010

I have never seen a UFO, a Chupacabra, the Loch Ness Monster (of course it would help if I went to Scotland), or Bigfoot. Hey, I’m not saying that they don’t exist; I just want to actually see one or all of the above. I guess that’s why all those TV shows about “Finding this” or “Looking for that” are so unsatisfying. Why, you ask? ...Because they never actually find anything. No mystery is ever solved. Oh, they have so-called experts and witnesses, etc, etc, etc, and they all sound so convincing but in the end it’s always the same, nothing. Of course, if they ever did find any or all of the above then there would be nothing left to find and there wouldn’t be any more “mystery” programs and then they’d have to put something on TV to take their place, something even more unbelievable...like reality shows.

 

Seek and ye shall find many laughs at: www.rubescartoons.com !

Leigh’s Rubes cartoony show comes to San Antonio on January 26th!...For details see: http://www.rubescartoons.com/events.html

Late to bed, early to rise...

Jan 14, 2010

I had a speaking engagement this morning.  That would have been no problem except that I had stayed up way too late the last couple of nights. (No, it wasn’t because I was goofing off...quite the opposite in fact...I was working on deadlines). I don’t mind getting up early but the event started at 7:00AM which means I had to be up by 5:30 in order to walk the dog before I left. Let’s just say that I am thankful that nature has provided us with that wonderful stimulant known as caffeine. I take mine in the form of coffee. But even before this first sip, which I didn’t take until I was at the event, I had to at least pretend to be awake, which I certainly was not, well, at least not entirely anyway. I guess I shouldn’t complain too much. I spoke with my buddy up in Oregon and he had to be at 3:30AM. That made me feel a little better. Of course he didn’t have to entertain a room full of people so early in the day. Still, seeing all of those smiling faces and hearing all the laughter has an energizing effect on me. It’s too bad that Starbucks can’t figure out a way to make laughter into an eye-opening morning beverage. Just imagine if they could...then people would actually be all smiles even after paying four bucks for a cup of coffee.

 Start your day off with a laugh at: www.rubescartoons.com !

Leigh’s cartoony show comes to San Antonio on January 26th!...For details see: http://www.rubescartoons.com/events.html

Going the extra mile

Jan 11, 2010

After a belated holiday gathering at my folk’s house which included a call to paramedics and a (thankfully!) brief hospital stay (it’s okay...everyone’s fine. Thanks for asking!) last evening our family was making the three hour drive home on a beautiful stretch of California’s coastal route 101 when at 12:30 am, as I was starting to doze (my wife was driving) there was an abrupt “grinding-steel to the ground sound” which was followed by my wife’s expert (cool, calm, collected and without a single curse word) handling of the left rear tire blowing out on our fully packed (six people, two dogs) SUV. My wife (MY HERO!) managed to safely get us over to the right shoulder of the road. Both my older sons and I got out and saw that the side wall of the tire was completely shredded. Changing a tire? No problem! That is until two of the lug nuts broke right off. I called AAA and there we waited for the next forty minutes or so on a beautiful clear night. (It’s dark on the coast at 1AM halfway between Ventura and Santa Barbara). When the tow driver (Our HERO!) showed up we were all relieved. He loosened one nut but the next snapped off too. So, there we were three loose nuts and three completely broken off. He said at this point we’d need a flatbed tow truck with a bigger crew cab to accommodate all six of us in the tow truck as his truck could only hold five of us. (The dogs would have to ride in the SUV. They didn’t seem to mind.).  About forty minutes later the next tow truck driver (our second hero!) arrived and in another 35-40 minutes or so we were on our way. I sure am glad we bought that extra protection from AAA where you can be towed up to 100 miles for no extra charge. As it turned out we live 101 miles up the road. We weren’t charged for the extra mile.

Lots of fun to spare at: www.rubescartoons.com

Where's the beef?

Jan 08, 2010

Yesterday I received a nasty little email from a reader who apparently did not appreciate my cartoon of cattle lining up in front of a meat processing plant. (See cartoon below) I'm all for freedom of speech but I think that having the freedom to speak also means that sometimes it's okay not to speak. Here’s his thought provoking email in its entirety:"Making light of animal slaughter is ignorant.  May you suffer the same fate." Now I wouldn’t say these are the words of a rational, caring individual, would you? I’ll say one thing; he certainly had a beef with me.

 

 
Lots of laughs and no waiting at: www.rubescartoons.com

Technology saves the day

Jan 06, 2010

So there I was, busily texting away, not particularly paying attention to my surroundings walking my dog. It takes some skill to hold the leash and text especially while my seventy-five pound Akita my is dragging me in tow. I have to make multiple pit stops (both for the dog and so that I can hit all the correct keys on my Blackberry). Just as I’m rounding the corner on the last leg of the walk I paused to reread my final text and hit the send button. At that very moment not ten inches in front of me lands a perfect little white “splat!” I look up just in time to see a pigeon take flight. Had I not paused I would have been wearing that little splat hat. Now some people say that that we’ve become too dependent on technology but I say in this case technology saved the day, well, at least the morning anyway.

 

 Start your day with some good karma at: www.rubescartoons.com

Clowning around

Jan 04, 2010

 

 

 

What is it about clowns? Some people find clowns amusing but I, like many other people I have met over the years find them very disturbing. Oh, I guess I could blame lack of enthusiasm for clowns on the time I was five or six and my brother and I were watching a parade and we were both sticking our hands out to shake hands with the clown walking by but he completely dissed us. It wasn’t scary by any means but my brother and I felt completely ignored. I’m sure it was nothing personal. There were hundreds of kids all sticking their hands out all trying to shake hands with the clown. How could he possibly shake all of our hands? Apparently that ability is left to those really scary bozos otherwise known to the rest of us as politicians.

 Lots of clowning around at: www.rubescartoons.com !

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