David Letterman: "How about those elections? Here's how it breaks down now. We have a Republican House. We have a Democratic Senate. And we have a President with veto power. Smooth sailing, right? No problems there."
Jay Leno: "Well, it looks like John Boehner will be the new Speaker of the House. He is the son of a bartender, one of 12 children. He grew up in a two-room home with just one bathroom, worked his way through school, became the first person in his family to graduate from college. And, sadly, fell in with the wrong crowd and wound up in Congress."
Jimmy Fallon: "In his new book, George W. Bush reveals that he considered dropping Dick Cheney in 2002 to show he was in charge, not Cheney. But then Cheney nixed the idea."