Jay Leno: "According to a new CBS poll, 33 percent of Americans say they won't have enough money to cover their holiday spending. I believe these people are called Congress."
Jay Leno: "If there is a shutdown, 800,000 nonessential federal employees will be suspended. You know, maybe that's our budget problem right there: We have 800,000 nonessential federal employees."
Conan O'Brien: "Many voters feel that Mitt Romney is out of touch with real Americans after he tried to make a bet with Rick Perry for $10,000. When asked to comment, Mitt said, 'I'm sorry, but that's all I had in my pocket at the time.'"
David Letterman: "Newt has a holiday book out -- 'The Newt Before Christmas.'"