Jimmy Fallon: "Donald Trump announced that he’s endorsing Mitt Romney for president. It was really nice. Trump was like, ‘There’s only one man with the brains, the skills, and the charisma to be president — but since I’m not running, you might as well vote for Mitt Romney.’"
Jay Leno: "Mitt Romney said he is not concerned with the very poor. That statement worked out well for Marie Antoinette, didn’t it?"
Stephen Colbert: "To all the worrywarts out there who said super PACs were going to lead to a cabal of billionaires secretly buying democracy: wrong! They are publicly buying democracy."
Jimmy Fallon: "A new report found that Facebook has created more than 450,000 jobs. Unfortunately, photos posted on Facebook have ended 550,000 jobs."