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July 2012 Archive for Late-Night Laughs

RSS By: A Good Laugh

Enjoy some good one-liners and bits from your favorite late-night comedians.

ISU Economist Answers Colbert’s Drought Questions

Jul 26, 2012

Bruce Babcock, Iowa State agricultural economics professor, reports the condition of the Iowa corn crop. Comedian Stephen Colbert quizzes Babcock on the implications of the drought.

 

The Colbert Report Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
U.S. Agriculture & Drought Disaster - Bruce Babcock
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog Video Archive

 

How Do You Define 'Vote'?

Jul 17, 2012

Jimmy Fallon: "Last week, House Republicans held their 33rd vote to repeal Obama’s health care law. It was mostly a symbolic vote that accomplished nothing — or as Congress calls that, a vote."

Jay Leno: "There's talk that if Jennifer Lopez leaves "American Idol," they're going to bring back Paula Abdul. Insiders say Paula was chosen over Chief Justice John Roberts, who producers felt was too unpredictable."

Jay Leno: "The White House is now urging Americans not to 'read too much' into the other week's jobs report. In fact, they said it would be best if you didn't read it at all."

David Letterman: "The American League was defeated 8-0. The American League also lost the 2011 All-Star Game as well as the 2010 All-Star Game. Under President Obama, America's own league is on a losing streak! Mitt Romney will fix the American League and make it competitive again."

Going in Circles

Jul 06, 2012

Jay Leno: "The Obamacare ruling makes Chief Justice John Roberts the first Republican to favor an insurance law with an individual mandate since, well, Mitt Romney."

Bill Maher: "The Tea Party is furious. They say this is a slippery slope to dental care."

Jay Leno: "The Democratic Convention is $27 million in debt. They had to cancel the kick-off event at the Charlotte Motor Speedway. A speedway is the perfect place for the Democratic Convention. You go around in circles, turn left every few seconds, and you end up right where you started."

Bill Maher: "Mitt, pick me for your VP! I know it's out of the box, but look: we are complete opposites. Americans love that. It'll be like a buddy movie, where you're the uptight square and I'm Chris Tucker."

Jay & Co. Rule on the Health Care Decision

Jul 02, 2012

Jay Leno: "In a landmark decision, the Supreme Court ruled President Obama's health care mandate is constitutional. This is a major victory for President Obama, who spent three years promoting it, and a major setback for Mitt Romney, who spent three years creating it."

Craig Ferguson: "Now that health care is guaranteed, I'm frying everything I eat."

David Letterman: "Regis Philbin will be hosting the fourth hour of the 'Today' show with Kathie Lee Gifford. Of course, the Supreme Court has to rule whether it's constitutional."

Jimmy Fallon: "Last week in New Hampshire, President Obama said Americans need someone who will wake up every single day and fight for their jobs. Then he said, 'But until we find that guy, I'm still your best choice.'"

 

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