Jay and Conan on Pat-downs and Turkeys

Jay Leno: "The TSA says they will allow pilots to pass through security more easily than before. I'd be happy if the pilots just went through the breathalyzer."

Jay Leno: "Bristol Palin is still on 'Dancing with the Stars.' She gets more votes than anyone else. John McCain picked the wrong Palin."

Jay Leno: "Michelle Obama is expected to announce a plan to put 5,000 salad bars in public schools. They expect as many as three students to use them."

Conan O'Brien: "The turkey that President Obama will pardon this year for Thanksgiving will come from California. A spokesman for the turkey said it doesn't need a pardon, it needs a job."