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June 2009 Archive for Rubes Cartoons - Tales from a Twisted Mind

RSS By: Leigh Rubin, AgWeb.com

A cartoonish look at life...

Summer these days

Jun 30, 2009

 Summer’s here and doesn’t that bring back fond memories of chasing that Pied Piper of Popsicles also known as the ice cream man? There was nothing like those cool, sweet, appetite-spoiling treats. My favorite was the Creamsicle. I couldn’t wait to work my way through the frozen orange exterior to get to the creamy vanilla interior.YUM! ...Just thinking about it puts me in a good humor!

 

 Want a silly Summer treat?...The check out: www.rubescartoons.com

 

 

 

 

Lost in the woods...

Jun 29, 2009

Uh oh, looks like a certain governor, (whose name will go unmentioned), of a certain state (hint...the capital is Columbia) was caught with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar. Instead of hiking the Appalachian Trail as he had told his wife, he had flown to South America for a rendezvous with his “other” significant other. I’d be willing to cut the guy a little slack and assume that he just got lost in the woods but gee whiz, we are not even talking about the same hemisphere. Someone buy that man a compass! ... (Preferably one of the moral variety).  I know one thing for sure. If I came up with a pathetic story like that my wife would tell me to take a hike.

Looking for a good time? Then hike on over to: www.rubescartoons.com

Nyuk, nyuk...Who’s there?

Jun 26, 2009

Heard that a new Three Stooges movie is in the works. The three goofy guys will be played by Jim Carrey, Sean Penn and Benicio del Toro. I sure hope they do a good job and keep in the spirit of the original Stooges. One thing’s for sure. If it’s a hit, when it comes to sequels, there will definitely be many Moe, Moe, Moe!

 Want some fun? Then poke around: www.rubescartoons.com

A hot tip from Rubes...

Jun 25, 2009

Summer’s here and that means long days and lots of time spent outdoors. Be sure to keep a bottle of sunblock handy to shield yourself from those harmful UV rays. Remember, an ounce of prevention may just protect you from getting fried.

Be cool...
check out: www.rubescartoons.com

The ol’ (wrecking) ball and chain

Jun 24, 2009

Just read about another celebrity couple break up in the news. I suppose that with so much “swinging” (boy am I dating myself using that term!) going around it’s inevitable that many Hollywood marriages end up being, for lack of a better term, demolished.

C’mon, swing on over to:  www.rubescartoons.com !

Comb Over

Jun 23, 2009

 Nobody likes the aging process but as we all know it’s inevitable. No matter how hard we try to maintain our youthful looks time, unlike love handles, is not on our side. All the anti-wrinkle creams and hair restoration products that we put our misguided faith in only provide a temporary reprieve, if even that. Is it any wonder that when it comes to getting older we’re all just little bit chicken?


Laugh (it'll keep you young) at: www.rubescartoons.com !

Living to a ripe old age

Jun 22, 2009

I’ll bet that some types of fruit are envious of the ones that age better than they do. Why, they’re probably even more than envious. In fact I’ll bet they’re berry, berry jellyous!

 
Berry punny stuff at: www.rubescartoons.com !

The flight home

Jun 18, 2009

My wife my son and I headed back to sunny California this afternoon. I have absolutely no complaints about the flight or service despite finding out that early this morning, once again, our flight reservations mysteriously “vanished.” Fortunately it just took about a half hour on the phone to solve the situation. Taking into consideration what happened on our outbound flight last week (and on other flights - see below) I know things could have been much worse...

 You’ll cry with laughter at: www.rubescartoons.com !

Hot dog!

Jun 17, 2009

 

Rather than spend two fortunes a day, one on lunch and the other on dinner, while in New York my son and I , on a  few of our vacation days  grabbed a hot dog (and sometimes a pretzel too!) from one of  New York’s ubiquitous hot dog vendors. (Man, those guys do a brisk business!) They certainly did the trick and curbed our hunger and gave my credit card a rest as well. Oh sure, it wasn’t the finest dining in Manhattan but it’s certainly better than a poke in the eye.




Hot diiggity dog! ...Take a peek at: www.rubescartoons.com !

Make no bones about it

Jun 16, 2009

We’re headed over to the American Museum of Natural History this morning and already I feel like I’m going to be a kid in a candy store. When I was a little kid I wanted to be a paleontologist (even though I couldn’t spell it) just like my big brother. While I never did earn a degree in paleontology I never lost my fascination with those ancient beasts. Who knows, perhaps if I had been a better speller in my early years my life might have been dramatically different. Whatever the case, when it comes to dinosaurs I still dig ‘em!

 Here’s something you’ll really dig... www.rubescartoons.com !

Rumor has it....

Jun 15, 2009

Years ago someone started what has probably become one of the most famous urban legends ever. A claim was made that there were real live alligators living in the sewers of New York. Personally I never believed the story. Oh, I suppose it could be possible, but for all intents and purposes, it was probably never anything more than a big bunch of croc.

 

 Just another silly Pun-day at: www.rubescartoons.com !

New York City!

Jun 13, 2009

I last left off having been rebooked (twice) on our flight to New York. All was well until we arrived at LAX only to discover a line so long at the United check in counter that you’d think they were giving away free trips to Tahiti. By the time we actually got to the ticket counter our flight had been gone for at least a half hour. (SIGH!) However, our very sympathetic airline representative, (aka”Ticket Goddess”), after about a half hour of trying every combination possible, struck the lottery and got us on a flight with a short stop in Denver. (Give that woman a raise!) We arrived at our apartment at four in the morning and were treated to a fabulous view of the Empire State Building, which by no strange coincidence we hiked to today and did the touristy thing by going on a somewhat silly “New York Sky Ride.” Which is essentially a simulated roller coaster/helicopter/submarine ride narrated by Kevin Bacon which “flies” all over New York City. Ah well, live and learn. We did go to the 86th floor observatory ...for a fee ...but was free when my brother and I went last time in 1966 and committed the undeniably adolescent act of spitting off that very place. I guess what they say is true, criminals always return to the scene of the crime. Anyway, the views from all four sides of the ESB were stunning...and worth it. No wonder King Kong chose to visit there on his very last trip to New York!

You’ll go ape when you visit : www.rubescartoons.com !

The Friendly Skies?

Jun 11, 2009

Traveler’s log entry #1: Received a phone call at 5AM this morning. It was a lovely, prerecorded courtesy call from my airline. My flight to New York had been cancelled. (Not happy). Spent the next hour and a half on hold. (Not happy.) Was told there were no available flights. (Not happy.) Airline agent found one flight with a stop in Dallas. (Happier.) Twenty minutes later, I received a courtesy call from my airline. Due to thunderstorms in the Dallas area, my flight would be cancelled. (Not happy again.) Very cheerful airline representative searched for other flights and could not find any. (Even unhappier now.) But then, a miracle! Angelic airline representative found another airline which could accommodate us. (Happier.) We actually get in an hour earlier than our previously, rebooked flight. (Happy...for the moment.)

(Please note: The following cartoon has nothing to do with the above blog post except that after having two flights cancelled and being on hold for over an hour and a half, I felt like SCREAMING!!!)




C'mon...fly on over to: www.rubescartoons.com !

 

Honk! Honk!

Jun 10, 2009

I am really looking forward to not driving while in New York.  Although we’ll be taking the subway most everywhere, I’m sure we’ll also have the opportunity to experience what it’s like to ride with a real live, genuine New York City cabbie. I have heard how it can get pretty darn noisy in Manhattan, especially during rush hour. (When is it ever not rush hour?) With everyone hurriedly going here and there, I’m sure that tempers get short and the horns will blare, but I’ll bet no one takes it personally. It’s just part of living in the big city. Speaking of big honkers (how’s that for a segue?!), here’s one I just nose you’ll get a kick out of...

    Make your next stop at: www.rubescartoons.com !

The cold (cut) hard facts

Jun 09, 2009

I saw this headline in my paper last week:

“EXPERTS FEAR OIL SHORTAGE IS COMING”

Then right below it, no joke, came this headline:

“CUSTOMERS ARE BACK BUYING BIGGER VEHICLES”

Then just below that:

“SIZE STLL MATTERS TO DRIVERS”

...and below that:

“Automakers report May had the highest sales this year, but fuel efficient cars are stacking up.”

 I can’t possibly be the only one who noticed the irony in these stories. Geesh. Gas is just about to hit 3 bucks a gallon again, still lower by far than this time last year, but does anybody really think it’ll stop there?  I think not. If anyone tells you different you can be sure of one thing...It’s just a bunch of baloney.

 
Hot dog! Lotsa fun at: www.rubescartoons.com !

With apologies to Frank Sinatra

Jun 08, 2009

Later this week my wife, my youngest son and I are headed back to the “city that never sleeps.” I’m returning to my “roots,” as is mentioned in a feature article in last week’s Queens (NY) Courier.

http://www.queenscourier.com/articles/2009/06/05/
entertainment/buzz/doc4a28079dd5f06484853427.txt

I’ll be doing a cartoony show at the Forest Hills Library in Queens, the place of my birth. (Got any friends or family there? If so, tell ‘em to come join the fun!)

My wife and son have never been to New York, so this will be an especially fun trip for them. I asked my son to make a list of things he’d like to do while in the Big Apple, and after seeing the list it’s a good thing the city never does sleep because there’s no way we’ll get everything done if it decides to take even a five-minute catnap. There are some priorities: the Staten Island ferry, Empire State Building, Museum of Modern Art, Museum of Natural History and of course a Broadway show. In between all that, there will be lots and lots (and lots) of dining. There aren’t a whole lot of restaurants in my little town, so this part of the trip will be especially fun...and fattening. It’s a good thing we’ll be doing most of our sightseeing on foot. I’m hoping all that hoofing it through the city will burn off the extra calories. Otherwise, I’m afraid by the time the trip is over I would really regret all that overindulgence, especially when I’m walking down the sidewalk and I’ve put on so many pounds that everybody has to step aside just to get out of...myyyyyy waaaaaaaay!



Go ahead; overindulge all you want at: www.rubescartoons.com !

A killer act

Jun 05, 2009

A couple of summers back I took the family to a well known tourist attraction where killer whales are the stars. They are magnificent creatures and amazingly smart too. I thoroughly enjoyed just watching them swim in their huge tanks and could have probably observed them for hours doing nothing but swim around but they had to earn their keep and were put through the usual inane tricks that people come to see at such places. We are talking some corny stuff here...so silly that I’m surprised besides being black and white they weren’t also red from embarrassment.  With their intelligence they could be doing highbrow humor instead of slapstick. Honestly, I think they must be performing those wacky antics just to pay the bills until something better comes along. One thing’s for sure, those orcas need a better agent, one that will turn down all the silly stuff and get them roles more fitting for a creature that’s made it to the top of the ocean’s food chain....roles that they can really sink their teeth into... Roles that are, for lack of a better term, totally killer.


You don’t have to jump through hoops to visit : www.rubescartoons.com !

Just a little closer

Jun 04, 2009

Whenever I see a TV show on aliens or Bigfoot or the Loch Ness monster, etc., etc., etc., I’m always left unsatisfied. There are always those people who swear up and down that they’ve seen the Loch Ness monster or Bigfoot or have been abducted by aliens, but the one thing that always seems to be missing is the actual physical evidence. It’s not that I want to be such a skeptic, but just once I’d like some real proof. I’m not asking for much, just something besides a fantastic tale or some blurry footage. For all I know, all of the above may actually exist. I'd just like to see for myself instead of hearing about it as a sort of close encounter of the third hand kind.



Have a close encounter of the funny kind at: www.rubescartoons.com

Just a little more than skin deep

Jun 03, 2009

My middle son couldn’t wait until he reached the “enchanted” age of 18...that special age when a person somehow instantly transforms from a minor into an adult. It’s as if someone waves a magic wand and suddenly you are a “grownup.” The main reason he was so anxious wasn’t so he could perform his civic duty and vote in his first presidential election. No, he had a much more practical reason...so he could get his first tattoo. His mother and I did not allow tattoos prior to him turning 18 and now that he was all “growed up” and an “adult” and fully “responsible” (according to the law) for his actions, he had a good legal argument on his side. I know it’s popular and “all the kids” as well as many “seasoned” adults are doing it, but to be perfectly honest, the thought of having someone stick me repeatedly with a needle, no matter how “cool” the outcome, really just gets under my skin.

C’mon, sneak on into: www.rubescartoons.com (we won’t check your I.D....Promise!)

Through thick and thin

Jun 02, 2009

A very unscientific survey of people I knew in high school (myself included) revealed that almost all of them have gotten divorced...some of them even more than once. In fact, to my knowledge, only I and one other friend of mine have remained married to the same spouse...well, not the same spouse--oh, you know what I mean. How I actually made the cut is somewhat of a mystery, as I don’t know how my wife put up with me all these years. Another unscientific survey revealed that almost all of my friends’ parents along with my parents have stayed married, many in excess of fifty years. I’m not sure what the reason for this is other than they had to endure much more hardship than my generation ever knew. Maybe it made them stronger and willing to tough it out through the “worse” part of “for better or worse.” Whatever the reason, I look up to them. They are an inspiration to me and a wonderful example to my kids.


Enough laughs for the whole class at: www.rubescartoons.com

Definitely for the birds

Jun 01, 2009

Money seems to be hard to come by these days. Businesses are cutting back on spending, people are tightening their belts and banks are definitely not as liberal with their cash as they were not so long ago. So what’s a young entrepreneur to do? I guess for those willing to go out on a limb, well, they’ll just have to wing it.

See what’s growin’ on at: www.rubescartoons.com

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