Garden Gnomes

So I’m out with the big dog on my usual morning walk and I notice these strange little ‘’beings’’ peering out from behind the shrubs in front of my neighbor’s house. At first they look like miniature Santa Clauses but upon closer inspection (not too close as I don’t want to trespass and this neighbor has two particularly  aggressive cats which would be no match for my dog  but could still inflict some damage in the event of a dog-cat altercation) I see the three little Santas are actually garden gnomes.  Okay, so maybe I am dense or ignorant (insert sarcastic comment here) but exactly what purpose do garden gnomes serve?...I can think of none with the exception of the one featured in the mildly amusing Travelocity commercials. In reality they are about as useless as me when it comes to yard work. All they do is just stand there looking all cute and gnomey ( I can’t even do that) and doing nothing else whatsoever. I don’t know, maybe they serve as some sort of distraction from the weeds which are growing all around them. Come to think of it maybe that is their purpose. Maybe that’s all they are meant to do...just stand there and be a distraction. If that’s the case then my yard could use a couple hundred of them.

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