Late-nite comedy
Jun 24, 2009
Conan O’Brien: “Nice vote of confidence
for President Obama this weekend. … John McCain, of all people,
said that President Obama has ‘done well’ during his first
few months in office. … In fact, McCain’s so proud of Obama,
he sent him a card with a five dollar bill inside.”
Conan O’Brien: “According to a new report,
Ford, General Motors and Chrysler have greatly reduced their number of
customer complaints. … The automakers did this by greatly reducing
their number of customers.”
Conan O’Brien: “Today, President Obama
signed a bill that prevents tobacco companies from using misleading labels
like ‘low tar’ and ‘light.’ … The tobacco
companies…said from now on they’ll label their low tar cigarettes
as ‘less cancerific.’”
David Letterman: “President Barack Obama’s
approval rating” of “61%, which I thought was staggeringly
high, has now dropped to 56%. … So don’t kid yourselves. Hillary
could still win this thing.”
David Letterman: “You folks following the Iranian
elections? … Well, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is the winner. And lots of
protests. … And it got to be so crazy that Iran’s supreme
leader actually spoke live on television last night. And it preempted
Al Jazeera’s most popular show, their number one show over there,
which is ‘How I Met Your Camel.’”
David Letterman: “But the supreme leader said
that the Iranian elections were not rigged. … Well, that’s
good enough for me.”
Jimmy Fallon: “Hillary Clinton is expected to
make a full recovery after having surgery to repair her broken right elbow.
… Yeah, doctors say she’ll be able to point and crazy smile
at people in no time.”
