Sep 23, 2014
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Late-Night Laughs

RSS By: A Good Laugh

Enjoy some good one-liners and bits from your favorite late-night comedians.

Late-nite comedy

Jun 23, 2009

Conan O’Brien: “Of course, the big news, the Iranian government trying very hard now to legitimize their election. That’s the big story in the world right now. Today, Iran’s supreme leader declared last week’s presidential election ‘an absolute victory.’ … Then he went on to congratulate the Clippers on winning the NBA championship.”

Conan O’Brien: “Speaking of basketball, today, President Barack Obama spoke on the phone with Lakers Coach Phil Jackson and with Dan Bylsma, coach of the Stanley Cup-winning Pittsburgh Penguins. … And in a related story, Joe Biden had a conference call with Tito Jackson and an actual penguin.”

Conan O’Brien: “On Wednesday night, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton broke her elbow. So, yesterday, she worked from home…which explains why Bill Clinton spent the day in the backyard forming the words ‘help me’ with garden gnomes.”

Conan O’Brien: “China is working with Google to block Chinese computer users from accessing pornographic websites. … Chinese officials say the exploitation of young, underage women is reprehensible when it takes place outside a factory.”

David Letterman: “Tomorrow begins Gay Pride Week here in New York City. … I love the Gay Pride Week. Where else can you see 300 guys dressed up like Sarah Palin?”

Jimmy Fallon: “Today, Iran’s supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, said there’s no fraud in the election. The results will stand. That was the word from the supreme leader. I don’t know. I wouldn’t mind a second opinion from the other supreme leaders -- Burrito Supreme, Taco Supreme and, of course, Diana Ross.”

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