Stubborn Politicians and Dangerous Asteroids

Jay Leno: "President Obama had lunch with Republican leaders at the White House today and had to do without salt, pepper and butter. Not for dietary reasons. The Republicans refused to pass anything."

Jay Leno: "The problem in Egypt is that so many government officials are rich and the people are poor. I think it’s a pyramid scheme."

Conan O'Brien: "A California man is suing Disney because he was trapped on the 'It’s a Small World' ride for 40 minutes. When they heard about it, the Chilean miners said, 'Wow, we got off easy.'"

Craig Ferguson: "Russian astronomers say an asteroid is heading toward our planet and will hit us in 2036. You have to keep in mind that Russian astronomers use empty vodka bottles for telescopes."