Who Won the Primary in American Samoa?
Mar 20, 2012
Jay Leno: "You know what's kind of ironic? This was the fourth St. Patrick's Day of Obama's presidency. He still hasn't created a green job. What happened to those?"
Stephen Colbert: "Rick Santorum is resonating with voters because of his authenticity. He always speaks off the cuff, which is why his sweaters don't have sleeves."
Jon Stewart: "Rick Santorum won Alabama and Mississippi, and Mitt Romney won Hawaii and American Samoa. Here's a little mnemonic device to help you remember: Places you can get to in a Winnebago go to Santorum. Places that require a jet or a yacht go to Romney."
Jay Leno: "A new CBS poll found that 80% of Americans say they're not better off than they were four years ago. The other 20% own gas stations."