Jimmy Kimmel: "President Obama held another press conference tonight, preempting all the major networks again. He does this every week now. It's time for Oprah to give him a show."
Jimmy Kimmel: "And the White House actually -- this is true -- rescheduled the President. They moved it up an hour from 9:00 to 8:00 because NBC complained it would interfere with 'America's Got Talent'. So in other words, the President of the United States moved his press conference to accommodate a show David Hasselhoff is on. I think Clinton did that for 'Baywatch' once."
Conan O'Brien: "Yesterday, Secretary of state Hillary Clinton was in India. And today, there was a total eclipse of the sun. ... After hearing about it, Bill Clinton said, 'If there's one thing Hillary's good at, it's making the light go out of your life.'"
Jimmy Fallon: "Did you guys see Michelle Obama last night? She just got a new haircut. ... It's the first real cut of the Obama Administration."