Jay Leno: "We're headed for a fiscal cliff and President Obama is in a tough spot. Because the Democrats did so well on election day, he's running out of Republicans he can blame this on."
Jimmy Fallon: "NASA says the Mars rover has made a major discovery. Scientists hope it found signs of life there. Americans are just hoping it found some Twinkies."
Stephen Colbert: "A decorated war hero has an affair with his biographer, who thinks he's stepping out on her with a second girlfriend. So she sends an e-mail from a secret account saying, 'Step off.' And the second woman freaks out and contacts her friend, an FBI agent, who launches an investigation but gets pulled off the case because he sexted her a shirtless photo. The war hero's protégé, also a general, has sent thousands of e-mails to the second woman. This isn't just a love triangle, folks. It's a love pentagon."