David Letterman: "President Bush is everywhere talking about his book and he's being very candid. In one interview, he said that he used to do stupid things while he was drunk. But think about it, who among us hasn't had a couple of drinks and invaded Iraq?"
Jay Leno: "A Carnival Cruise liner was disabled and drifted for two days without any power, thus earning the ship the nickname 'The Democratic Party.'"
Jimmy Fallon: "China is expected to overtake the U.S. as the world's biggest economy in the next two years. Americans couldn't believe it. 'That hasn't happened already?'"
Stephen Colbert: "Wall Street hands out new bonuses. Poor people, get prepared to be trickled down on."
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