Jay Leno: "Sarah Palin's reality show will not be returning as she contemplates a possible run for president in 2012. When a candidate walks away from a reality show, that's when you know they're serious about being president of the United States."
Jay Leno: "Former U.S. House Majority Leader Tom DeLay has been sentenced to three years in prison. One year for money laundering and two more for his performance on `Dancing with the Stars.'"
Jay Leno: "Chinese President Hu Jintao will be at the White House next week. The good news is, he has no plans to foreclose. We can stay another month."
Craig Ferguson: "The two biggest websites right now are Wikipedia, where you go to learn about things you care about, and Facebook, where you go to learn about people you stopped caring about years ago."