Jay Leno: "This will be a rough week for President Obama. He's got a lame duck Congress, he has to pardon a turkey, he has to eat crow, and the Chinese just flipped him the bird."
Jimmy Kimmel: "TSA agents can now feel the inside of passengers' thighs. I get more action going through airline security than I did all through high school."
Jimmy Fallon: "President Obama's picture book for kids is coming out. That's when you know things have changed — when Bush writes a 500-page memoir and Obama hands in a coloring book."
Jimmy Fallon: "Arizona just became the 15th state to approve medical marijuana. So I give it three days before they stop caring about the whole immigration thing."
Don’t Blame FDIC for Eastern Livestock’s Problems
Farmland Values Up 3% to 10% Across Texas