Jimmy Fallon: "The day before Thanksgiving is National Opt-Out Day, where people are being asked to boycott the TSA's full-body scanners. Sponsors of the event say people shouldn't be made to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable while traveling. That's what Thanksgiving with your family is for."
Jay Leno: "It was bad enough when the TSA agents would go through your underwear in your luggage. Now they're going through your underwear while you're wearing it."
Jimmy Fallon: "'The Unemployed American' is in the running for Time magazine's 'Man of the Year.' That must be discouraging, to be on the cover of Time and still no one will hire you."
David Letterman: "President Obama has a children's book. It's called 'How the Grinch Stole the Midterm Elections.'"