Pre-Election Laughs from Leno, Letterman
Nov 05, 2008
"According to all the studies, somewhere between 8 and 14% of voters are still undecided." Do "these morons" need "another year to figure this out? 'Gee, I wonder where my candidate stands on UFO abductions. I'm going to wait.'"
Jay Leno: "I understand the networks...are playing it very, very cautiously. You know, they don't want to show any favoritism. In fact, MSNBC announced today they're not even going to declare Barack Obama the winner until after the votes are counted."
Jay Leno: "It seems fewer and fewer illegals are crossing the border because they can't find jobs. ... See, President Bush does have an immigration policy. It's called his economic policy."
David Letterman: "They're saying now that weather could play a huge part in the campaign. ... For example, in order for McCain to win tomorrow, hell has to freeze over."
David Letterman: "Today, Barack Obama campaigned in Florida and Virginia." McCain also "campaigned in two states, panic and desperation."