In The Shop: Things I Can Guarantee

Published on: 08:36AM Dec 14, 2019

Customers sometimes ask how long I will guarantee my work. My stock answer, when working in the field is, "Fifty feet or 50 seconds, whichever comes first." It's not that I'm not confident of my work; it's just that when you're working on farm equipment there is no such thing as fail-proof. Having said that, there are several things I WILL guarantee. Such as:

-if I so much as pick up a container of Never-Seize, within 30 seconds my hands, wrists, forearms, and much of my clothes will be splotched with that pernicious stuff.

-if I open a new spray can of WD-40, spray paint or other aerosol, there is a 50/50 chance that within the next hour I will knock over that can so it lands on the spray nozzle, break off the nozzle, and render the can useless before I've used any of it.

-if I have the MIG welder set perfectly, conditions are perfect, and I'm laying a gorgeous bead in a very visible spot, that's the time the argon bottle will run out of gas and turn the weld into instant ugly.

-any time I need to use our shop's welder, the argon bottle will be nearly empty, and there will be just enough gas to start a weld but not enough to finish it.

-any time I need to rip off a long piece of duct tape, the tape will fold back on itself, sticky side to sticky side, before I can get it stretched out and laid in the place I need to tape.

-and I can guarantee that all of the used cans of spray paint in my storage cabinet, no matter how carefully I turned them upside down and sprayed them to clear their nozzles after I used them, have clogged nozzles.