May 20, 2009
Jay Leno: "Hey, there was a private screening of
'Star Trek' at the White House over the weekend. And President Obama said
he really liked the film. The best thing about private screenings, because
we get to do them – it's not like seeing it with the public, you
know, where there might be some moron talking through the whole movie.
In fact, that's why they didn't tell Joe Biden."
David Letterman: "You know Vice President Joe
Biden? ... Now they're saying...that he apparently had a couple of drinks
and he was shooting his mouth off. And he announced the location of Vice
President Dick Cheney -- the old Vice President -- his hiding place. ...
And Joe Biden says, 'Well, I know where the heck it is. He had, like,
a bunker under his house.' And I was thinking...if you're going to reveal
secrets about something, why don't you reveal a secret about where bin
Laden is hiding."
Jimmy Fallon: "Joe Biden accidentally revealed
the location of the Vice President's top secret bunker. ... The guy can't
help it. But he did apologize. He said, 'I am so sorry for the mistake.
The launch code is 85334. It will never happen again. It will never happen
again. My Gmail password is robot23. What am I doing? The house key is
under the plant near the doorstep.'"