Leno & Conan Chuckles
Jul 11, 2008
"Hey, big scare today for Barack Obama. His airplane had to make an unscheduled landing because of mechanical problems. While the pilot was steering to the left, the plane was apparently drifting to the right."
Jay Leno: "As you know, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton met last week in Unity, New Hampshire, to campaign together and to show their unity. ... That shows you what a great country this is. Only in America can a woman who married a man from Hope go to a town called Unity and fake something called sincerity."
Jay Leno: "Barack Obama is now denying that he is e-mail pals with the beautiful actress, Scarlett Johansson. ... In fact, his exact words were, 'I did not have textual relations with that woman.'"
Conan O'Brien: "The Democratic convention is being held at a 20,000-seat arena in Denver," but Barack Obama "has decided to give his acceptance speech at Denver's 80,000-seat football stadium. ... Meanwhile, Ralph Nader will be giving his acceptance speech at a Foot Locker." =