The Greatest Thing: Readers Share Their Runners-Up
To my surprise other people have their own opinions. Indeed, my thoughtful explanation about replacing sliced bread with pop-tarts as the “greatest thing since” was refuted by readers who listed their alternatives.
Cheryl H. suggested “cheaters” – plain glasses with a bifocal inset for reading. She rhapsodized about discovering them and not having to buy expensive prescription glasses. Reading (with my cheaters) between then lines, Cheryl may be tragically young and has many more charming discoveries ahead of her similar to cheaters. Hint: buy them in bulk online when you find ones you like. They tend to evaporate with time.
Bill P. and Dean F. resoundingly endorse disposable diapers. Their reasoning is sound, and they were a remarkable improvement for childcare, but I’m not sure they followed the chain of consequences all the way through. Old diapers required some actual knowledge of fabric and small humans and required pointy objects (pins). So when enthusiastic or obedient newby fathers attempted the chore there was a significant chance of flesh meeting steel. After at most two such incidents they were shouldered out of the way by exasperated mothers, not to be near the child again until about fourth grade. Any nincompoop can repaper a baby now with reasonable success and little danger if you strap that squirmer down and don’t let the sticky part randomly attach. Males are now qualified for an unpleasant chore whereas before we were exempt. This is not a step forward. I get that it’s a big deal for mothers, but let’s stay focused, guys.
Ray C. nominates power door locks and details his reasoning, along with an oddly unrelated incident involving a misguided lady parker. However, I’m confused. If you lock the doors, how do you get to the keys on the console?
Bradley J. writes “What is wrong with ‘The greatest thing since the information and data revolution’?” Doesn’t really roll of the tongue though, does it Brad? I can always spot free range writers without editors and proofreaders. Good times…
John H. wants to stick with sliced bread and points to a bizarre attempt by the government to ban it. You need to remember these were approximately the same people who banned beer.
Dean F. also links to a food critique of Pop-Tartare – eating pop-tarts raw. How embarrassing. It seems I have been way ahead of food fashion.
For the record, I would have accepted “airless tires for garden vehicles”, “LED Christmas lights” or “latex paint”. Thanks for playing.
Read More from John:
John Phipps: The Next Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread
John Phipps: Farmers Don’t Understand City Folk
John Phipps: O Tempura, O S’mores
John Phipps: The Supply Chain Made Me Do It
