The world is swimming in polyester. If you don’t believe me look at the label on your trunks. Polyester comprises over half of all fabric content and has made possible clothing that probably shouldn’t be worn by people over 50.
Ponder the graph below:
Polyester’s popularity was prompted by economics (it’s cheap), and properties such as non-shrinking and, most importantly, fashion.
RESPECT THE STRETCH
An example: spray-on tight jeans. While you could have made them from cotton, you couldn’t wash them and force yourself into them a second time. At least, not without inhibiting routine movement like bending.
Adding polyester allowed enough stretch to inspire product phrases such as “non-judgmental fit” and a “medium with benefits.”
Science gifted us man-made fibers for man-made figures, so to speak.
The mixture became a threat to our most valued possessions: dollars. Currency papermakers, whose secret-sauce recipes for greenbacks included cotton fiber primarily from worn-out jeans, panicked when rags were tainted with polyester.
The buck didn’t pass the feel test. [Insert obvious “stretch-a dollar-joke” here.]
RETURN OF THE LEISURE SUIT
The marvels of polyester, along with unapproved pharmaceuticals, drove designers to dabble in forbidden arts during the ’70s, ultimately producing the leisure suit. Combining wrinkle resistance with pot-holder thickness, men were soon attired in puzzling jacket designs and arresting colors, usually with bail denied.
I had a friend who virtually disappeared when walking through an avocado-themed kitchen, for example.
THE PLUCKY FIBER
These bold sartorial trends were sadly short-lived as the brutal recession of the ’80s introduced a sobering influence on interview apparel. Polyester had gotten its toehold, however, and the avalanche of disco-wear jokes only spurred the plucky fiber to greater market share.
Looking back, this ridicule was a mistake. Leisure suits were not discarded but saved up for Halloween costumes, permanent reminders of vaguely remembered youth. I mean, those cringe-worthy, improbably colored leisure suits did distract eyes from our platform shoes and perms.
